Not The Best Way To Start A New Year...

So I'm here, on New Years Eve, feeling like shit; not wanting to see anyone or do anything but sit here and watch TV. I've been fighting the feeling for a week now, but I'm only so strong, I had to give in the other day. I hate feeling like this; I could be in a room full of people and still feel alone, not wanting to see anyone because I don't want to have to put on that fake smile and pretend that I'm happy, or worse, pile all my problems and feelings on them and then they feel bad. I really hate not wanting to spend time with my loved ones or do the things I want to do, especially on a special day.


Depression is a total catch-22; I hate feeling like this, but at the same time I like it, its my comfort zone. I've dealt with this since as long as I can remember, and I'm not sure I'd know what to do if I didn't have the drastic ups and downs. When I'm down, I feel like...myself, and when I'm up, I feel like I can be who I want to be...like I'm full of life. And I'm torn between whether I'm happy or not about the fact that I don't want to eat when I'm depressed, no matter how long it lasts, I just don't have an appetite. I'm only human so of course there is a part of me that thinks 'well at least I'll loose a little weight', however, I do know that that isn't exactly a good thing. Normally I have a very healthy appetite, too healthy from time to time. So for me to not want to eat, or not enjoy eating at all, is a big deal.


In the grand scheme of things I don't think its that bad of a way to live, I mean, I could think of worse things to have to deal with in life. But I can't help but think how life would be like if I didn't have to deal with this. What would life be like if I could just feel full of life all the time...


I'm glad I'm off work for the next several days, maybe that will be enough time for me to move through this funk and get back to living my life.


Well, I guess I will get back to the TV...maybe watch one of my new movies tonight, and fall asleep around 9, as usual. Nothing special about New Years Eve for me...thanks to me, because its certainly not for lack of trying from my friends.


I do hope that everyone else has a great night, be safe and I'll see you in 2012!

The Weather Outside Is Frightful

Ok, I have to rant on this confounded weather for a minute:

So we actually had to turn on the heat last night...first time this winter, it actually got down to the mid 30s! It truly amazes me how one day it will be 82°, and the next it will be 63°. And it still couldn't be even close to cold for the Christmas weekend... Yet another reason why I hate Florida. Now don't get me wrong, Florida can be very nice on vacation, or in photographs and movies, but living here...day in and day out...it gets old, fast!

I love cold weather; not that I mind a warm, even hot summer, but I would rather have it on the cool side all year than be hot most the year and warm the rest. 

I'm originally from Georgia, and in Georgia we actually have seasons; the weather changes from cold, to warm, to hot, to cool, and then back to cold...there is non of this 20-40 degree difference on a daily basis! Of course this drastic difference in the temperature is only during the fall and winter, spring and summer are pretty much just hot or hotter (after you hit 90° you're just to hot to care if its higher than that lol). 

I'm use to the summers and the heat down here now, even without having air conditioning in my car. But after 7 winters here my body still cannot get use to the crazy weather this time of year. It reeks havoc on my body and my psyche...ugh...

Alright, rant over... 

I now return you to your regularly scheduled program.

No white Christmas, but it wasn't blue either!

Well it was a great Christmas for me! Even though it was an unbelievable 80 something degrees down here on both Christmas Eve and Christmas Day lol.

First off, Santa Cherry (that's me) was able to get a little something for her family, which made her extremely happy! I was so disappointed thinking that I wouldn't be able to do even a little bit, but when I got off work early on Friday, and that being payday, I decided to battle my way through the crowds and go last minute Christmas shopping...and for those of you who don't know, I do NOT do last minute Christmas shopping, or Black Friday shopping for that matter; the sales just aren't worth it to me. But luckily I was able to get everything I needed at the one-stop shop that is Target. They saved my ass and everything was on sale! So one hour and $70 later I was ready for Christmas! Plus, nobody was home when I got there so I didn't have to sneak things in, so I was able to surprise everyone (my parents and my brother) on Christmas morning with presents under the tree! And to top it all off, everyone loved their gift (way-to-go, Santa Cherry)!!

Moving on, it was SO good to see my brother for a couple of days! Work was slow and I didn't get called in on my days off (Sunday and Monday) so I got two good days to spend with my brother. Though I didn't go to our neighbor's party on Christmas Eve, we had a great time Christmas night when we went over to their house for dessert; staying up till midnight talking and drinking. I did miss not having my sister there, but we video chatted with her and her family for a few minutes so we at least got to see and talk to her.

I got much more from "Santa" than I was expecting too! First of all, I got about five used Xbox games from my brother (ones that he doesn't play anymore), and my actually present from him was the new/old Halo Anniversary. So happy about that because now, even though we live in different states, we can play Halo together like we use to when it first came out! I also got Wipeout: In The Zone and Disneyland Adventures, both for Kinect, two DVDs; Pirates of the Caribbean: On Stranger Tides, and Narnia: The Voyage of the Dawn Treader, and some cute hair pins from my aunts, uncles and cousins up in Georgia. Along with the XBox and Kinect, the ring, purse, and glass pumpkin I got as early presents, it was quite a Christmas!

I hope you all had a wonderful Christmas too!

My early Christmas presents from Lee:

  The Glass Pumpkin; White with black stem                                               The Ruby Ring

Some of my Christmas presents from the family:

                                                                                           Video games

DVDs

Its The Holiday Season!

So Christmas is almost here...yay! Its finally sinking in that this Sunday...3 days from now is Christmas day. I've been so overwhelmed with other life things and getting ready for Christmas that Christmas has snuck up on me. 

I'm a little sad that I didn't have the money this year to get anybody much of anything, but knowing me I'll make it up to everyone throughout the coming year. I have already received most of my gifts...I tend to get my presents months before the occasion (I will post pics soon). But more than opening any presents on Christmas morning I am looking forward to seeing my brother! He will be driving down from Georgia on Christmas morning to be here in time for dinner that afternoon. I must say, I love my whole family but Christmas isn't Christmas without my big bro! We were very close growing up, being only a year apart, and though we have had our problems he is still the coolest, kindest, most fun person I know. :)

It has been a busy season, but a good one. Aside from being so sick for so long, I have really had a good couple of months; I have gotten to spend time with family and friends, do lots of fun things like Disney and museums, and have been in a very creative spirit! Though I have been broke I have had lots of good times and good ideas for jewelry and all sorts of arts and crafts that I'm into, and I hope to be able to bring those ideas to life after the new year when the money starts rolling...make that trickling in again lol.

Have a safe and very Merry Christmas!!!

Every Day At Disney Is A Dream Come True!

What a wonderful couple of days! I was dying to see Disney this year before Christmas to see all the decorations, so my girlfriend Dottie and I went on Tuesday. It was of course great; we did things that I hadn't done yet and it was a perfect day to be there between the weather and the crowds.


We went to Hollywood Studios and I finally got to ride the new Star Tours and the Toy Story Midway Mania and had lunch at Pizza Planet. Then we went to Magic Kingdom and watched the Celebrate a Dream Come True Parade (we got front row seating right on the curb on Main Street!), then ended up getting there just in time to see Captain Jack Sparrow's Pirate Tutorial, rode the new Haunted Mansion; can you believe I have never actually walked through the Graveyard...I mean come on, I work with the dead, you think I'd have gone that way before haha, the Prince Charming Regal Carousel (which apparently I forgot that poor Dottie does not like horses...but she was a great sport and rode it anyway!), and Snow White's Scary Adventures, then we each got a giant cinnamon role for dinner and left.


I didn't get to see the parks all lit up at night but we just didn't want to stay too late, especially since I'm still not feeling back to 100% from being sick. So I did miss seeing the lights but other than that it was a great trip!


And to top it off, I got to go to my boy Lee's for the night and spent all day Wednesday with him just taking it easy at his place...poor thing felt so left out that he couldn't go to Disney with us.


Anyhow, here are a few pics I took at the parks, sorry they aren't better but I was just using my phone.

The Parade:

Captain Jack:

The Haunted Mansion: 

The Tree:

Cinderella's Castle:

Lovers & Fighters

I am in a quandary...I have this friend, Lee, who's really more that just a friend he's a good friend and a "friend with benefits" (I guess I could use the word "lover" but I just don't like the "L" word). I have known him for almost six months now and we have really enjoyed getting to know each other and spending time together. We met online and I told him up front that I was not interested in a serious romantic relationship, he agreed that that was not was he was wanting either so we decided to meet and see if we could fulfill what each of us was looking for, totally just FWB.

Well, after we started spending a good amount of time together we both realized that our feelings for each other were growing...unfortunately, my feelings for him stopped at a great like while he has completely fallen in love (we're talking head-over-heals, I'm perfect, we're made for each other kind of love). Needless to say with neither one of us looking for that kind of connection we were both a bit surprised. 

So when he asked me to go steady (yes, he really said those words, which I found adorable) I thought maybe I should give it a shot; he is a really great guy, treats me better than almost every other guy I've known, and that's a lot, and I would be very lucky to have him as my full-fledged boyfriend instead of just a friend. 

However, it didn't last...I still don't want to be in a serious, committed, romantic relationship, not to mention I know my feelings for him do not reciprocate his for me...as much as I may want them to. We have discussed our feelings several times and he knows how I feel about him and relationships in general, and I have told him that if he really wants more out of a relationship he will have to find someone else, I just can't do it, which he replied to with 'there's no one else'. So after talking about it we both agreed and are now, and have been for awhile, back to just friends with benefits; which means we still get to hang out and do everything we want to do together but we don't have to answer to each other about anything and we can still see other people...both of those being very important to me. Not that I'm going around sleeping with a ton of other guys but I don't want to be tied down to one person, if I do want to sleep with another guy I want the freedom to do it, monogamy is just not my thing (and yes, he knows this). 

Anyway, he has been really good at trying not to say the "L" word but a few days ago he said it, flat out with no apology. I wasn't all that surprised but still, what do you say to someone that just said they love you when you know that they know that you don't love them back?

To add to my dilemma, I was with him yesterday and he said that he wants to be exclusive, wants to be officially a couple and though he knows its too early for this he wants to put a ring on my finger...AH!!! Naturally my first instinct here was to run for the hills, but I found myself just kind of stuck, looking at him and actually trying to picture myself saying yes...but alas I just sat there with nothing coming out of my mouth. He understood but said he is tired of holding back his feelings. I told him I didn't want him to hold back, but I also couldn't give him the answer he wanted. As much as I feel for him its just not right to say I love him if I don't truly love him.

So as I have been for a while now, I keep asking myself what I should do...even though I know the answer; I have to be true to myself. I told him straight up when we met what I was like, and that I have a record of being a heartbreaker; he knew what he was getting into before he stepped into it. 

But then why do I feel so bad?

A No-Go

A long and very difficult time of trying to decide whether I should still go to California today or not, but I decided that I should stay home. I'm very upset, I really wanted to take this trip; I was going to be flying both ways with my cousin Grace, get to spend a weekend with my niece and nephew and have a week to visit with my sister and my cousin. But alas I had to listen to my gut which said I should not go, I don't know why I felt that way but my gut is usually right...for whatever reason.


So I've been trying to just take is easy today, rest up and try to get better. With any luck I will be feeling better by the first of next week and can still go to California for a little bit.


The good news is I am feeling a little better today; the medication that I got yesterday really seems to be helping me breathe and calm my cough. My chest still hurts but the muscle relaxer from the health food store is helping ease the pressure and the pain a good bit. And now I guess I have time to catch up on some movie watching and maybe some scrapbooking.


Now if I can just get over being so upset about not going...

ER to CA

After more than a month of being sick (a cold, then a persistent cough, then a cold) my aunt Jeanie, who is a nurse, said that I needed to get to the hospital right away so they can check for pneumonia and hopefully give me something to help me get better. So my momma took me to the ER that is just down the street from us (my first visit to this one) and the doctor said I had bronchitis...oh yay... She wrote me a couple prescriptions and sent me on my way.


I also have a problem with my rib muscles; they tare easily when I have been coughing or have anything strenuous with my chest for very long. Well, for the forth time my muscle(s) are starting to tear. I cannot express to you how painful that is, the best way I can say it is what one doctor told me "a torn rib muscle is more painful that a broken rib". Having never had a broken rib I will just take his word on it...and wish I had a broken rib instead lol.


Now here's my problem; I am suppose to be on a flight to California tomorrow afternoon to go visit my sister and her family and babysit for her while her and her husband go on their anniversary, and then stay for a week to spend time with my sister and my cousin (my cousin is also flying to CA to help babysit). I am not breathing as well as I should be between the bronchitis and the pain in my rib and I know being on a plain will just make it even more difficult. However I think I would be ok once I got out there, though I wouldn't be able to get as much rest as I would if I stayed home.


I really want to go but I'm not sure that is truly the best idea. I am very torn about what I should do; I have been thinking about it all day (well really for several days) and I just don't know what is the best thing for me. I figure I will sleep on it and see how I feel in the morning.

Kinect...ed!

I am SO excited this morning! My mamma and I went to Toys R Us last night to get an early Christmas present for the three of us (my mamma, daddy and me); they had a really good sale on the XBox 360 with Kinect. We have been talking about getting an Kinect or Wii for about a year now and finally decided that if/when we got one we should get the XBox with Kinect. So when I noticed that Toys R Us had theirs for under $200 for the Black Friday weekend we just couldn't pass it up! I just wish now that I had more time to play this weekend...


So here's to a merry early Christmas! :D


And a note to those of you who are Monster High fans, the Dead Tired and Gloom Beach dolls are on sale for $9.99 at Toys R Us this week! 

A Thankful Thanksgiving

What an amazing Thanksgiving this year! I hope everyone else had a great Thanksgiving too!


I'll make this short and sweet because its been a long week and I'm still trying to recover, but I just wanted to say how thankful I am for the time I got to spend with my new niece and nephew over the last few days! My sister, her new husband and his two kids came down and spent this last week with us. It was their first Thanksgiving as a family and the first time I have gotten to see the kids (who are now almost 7 and 9) since the wedding about a year ago. 


It was so wonderful to get to know them and share our family and Thanksgiving traditions with them as part of our family this year. This is my first experience as an aunt and I must say it was great! I'm not much of a kid person but I love these kids and I truly hope to get to spend more time with them, not just at holidays.


So now that we have had a time of remembering what we are thankful for and why, its on to Christmas! And yes, before you ask I did start listening to Christmas music today, though I didn't do any of that craziness that is Black Friday shopping. And I think this weekend its time to start the decorating!

I Guess Size Really Does Matter...Bra Size That Is

There is nothing like feeling good in your own skin, or in this case your own clothes!

Ok so here's the story: I went shopping with my sister the other day (she is in town for the holiday), we went to the mall for several reasons but mainly because she had some coupons for Victoria's Secret that she was sharing with me.

To give you a little back-story, I have been trying to find a bra that fit me and that I liked for at least a year now, nothing I was finding (even at Victoria's Secret) was working.

So we go into Victoria's Secret and the lady comes up to us asking if we need any help, we show her our coupons, one of which was for $10 off a bra...well since I was in desperate need of a good bra and since the lady asked if we needed to be sized, oh yes, SIZED, I said yes please! I couldn't remember the last time I was sized for a bra so I jumped on it!

Let me tell you this lady was amazing! She sized me, told me how to tell if a bra really fits right, got me a couple great bras to try on so I could see what she was saying and then even came into the fitting room with me to show me more about how the straps should be, how it should fit around the sides, etc. After all that I tell her what style of bra I like and she goes out and gets me some like that to try on.

At this point I am trying on a couple different bras, in my correct size, to see what I like. I really liked one of them so I put my shirt back on while wearing that bra...I cannot tell you what a difference it made in the way I looked and felt in that shirt (one of my favorite shirts by the way, I look hot in it)!

Apparently I had been wearing bras that were two cup sizes too small because that was what I remembered from my last fitting. No wonder I was having such trouble with my bras...duh!

Needless to say I feel like a new woman now! I mean you know what a wonderful feeling it is to find that great pair of pants or a shirt that just makes you look like a star but let me tell you, it is a far better feeling to have a great fitting bra or panties. It really does make a world of difference not only in the way you look but also in the way you feel about yourself, inside and out! The only problem now is trying to find a sexy, inexpensive bra in my size hahaha.

The moral of this story: Ladies, if you haven't done so recently go to Victoria's Secret and get sized for your bra, its free and no purchase required. And keep in mind that that is something you should do on a regular basis because our bodies are constantly changing.

I am so overly ecstatic now because of my new bra and the pair of, yes, great fitting jeans I just bought! I have to say, going out every once in a while and, in a sense, reinventing yourself with new clothes is a great thing and I would highly recommend it for everyone (even the guys)! They don't even have to be expensive clothes, just something new and fun!

Breaking Dawn ~ Part 1

My girlfriends and I went to see the midnight showing of The Twilight Saga: Breaking Dawn - Part 1 on Thursday, I'm still somewhat speechless! It was SO amazing! I think I cried through most of it and didn't breathe through at least the last half. They just keep getting better and better!

I meant to get this out yesterday but I just needed more time to collect my thoughts (and stop crying lol). But anyway here it is, my thoughts on the movie...

SPOILER ALERT:

I loved the whole wedding, it was so beautiful and just as magnificent as I pictured it while reading the book! I just about died laughing when everyone was making their toasts. And when you saw Stephenie Meyer the look on her face was just like a proud parent; her children all grown up and getting married! I thought the honeymoon was done very tastefully, though it was actually a little bit more risqué than I thought it would be I still thought it was done well for a family movie. 

I was a little disappointed that they completely left out the awesome, super-safe car that Edward gave Bella, that would have been a fun little scene if nothing else. And I wasn't thrilled with the scene where Jacob leaves the pack when the wolves are talking together in there minds. I think without changing that scene from the book entirely they did a good job but for some reason I just didn't like it that much. I would have liked to see a little more of an explanation of why Rosalie was so protective and on Bella's side about her having the baby. I also wish they would have gone a little more into the details of when Bella was pregnant at the Cullen's house; like the fact that she couldn't keep any food down or that the baby was basically eating her from the inside out.

I thought they did a great job at making Bella look as terrible while she was pregnant as she was described in the book. And I loved the birth scene, it was so how I had pictured it! Though it was difficult to see through all my tears. Even though I knew what was going to happen I was so wrapped up in it that I couldn't help it (I cried through the book too)!

I was wondering where they were going to end it and I think they picked a really good spot. Did anyone stay for the extra scene after the first part of the credits?

All in all I LOVED it! I know, big surprise lol. I thought they did an amazing job bringing it all to life and making things as amazing as they are in the book! I hope to go see it again either this weekend or next to catch all the little things that I missed the first time!

Fairest Of Them All

So I just saw this trailer for Snow White and the Huntsman and I LOVED it, I don't think I breathed through the whole thing!!! I had heard about the movie a while ago but hadn't seen anything on it as far as previews. This movie looks amazing, I love Charlize Theron, Kristen Stewart and of course Chris Hemsworth (THOR)! And it looks like the way they did it is still very fanciful but yet it has a new twist on the story. It actually makes me think of the new TV show (which I have fallen in love with) Once Upon A Time. Along with all that and the fact that Snow White and the Seven Dwarfs is my favorite of the Disney princess movies, I can't wait to see this one!

The Art Of Chihuly

We went to the Morean Art Center in St. Pete yesterday and saw the Chihuly Collection...one word, AMAZING! It was so cool to see all the things people can do with glass. It was smaller than I expected but there is a lot of wow packed into that small place; we were there for about 4 hours. Let me tell you I will be going back there on a regular basis!

I wish I could have taken tons of pictures, I really wanted to take pictures of my favorite exhibit of the spheres and the boat but alas you are not allowed to take pictures inside the museum. I did get a couple outside though! I hope you like them :)

 A two-piece bowl set: the lady took it outside for us to see in the sun, 

I wish the picture was better because this piece was so gorgeous! 

 This is right in front of the building: 

I think it looks like a giant piece of rock candy!

This is part of the outside of the building: I loved it, 

it looked green from here but blue from inside the building!

And this is a little keepsake I got: a glass "kiss"!

The Lost Holiday

Halloween is over and our sights should be fixed on making that perfect holiday feast that is Thanksgiving...at least, that's what I think.


It has always bothered me that "Christmas" would start SO early in the stores, I mean I would like to finish buying my 4th of July things before I have to start thinking about what I'm doing for Christmas! It really got to me a few years ago though when my radio station started playing Christmas music the day BEFORE Thanksgiving instead of the day after like they had been doing for years...I have to say I just about had a cow that year. I do not want to listen to Christmas music while making Thanksgiving dinner, thank you very much! 


The reason I mention this is because I was at the mall last night; we just went to walk around and look but when we came across Bath & Body Works we just had to go in and see what was new. Well, it took me a few minutes to realize it (I was a little enthrall with all the wonderful new, and old, things) but they had already decorated for Christmas and were playing Christmas music! I guess I just don't go shopping enough but I couldn't believe it, its only the first week of November...I haven't even planned my Thanksgiving meal yet and I'm already pushed into Christmas. 


I love my holidays, all of them, and I want to enjoy each of them to their fullest. I don't understand why we don't want to make a big thing out of Thanksgiving like we do for Halloween, July 4th, Easter, Christmas, and even New Year...I mean come on, what do those holidays have that Thanksgiving doesn't??


Well, with that being said I also have to admit that I had a lot of fun in that store, got some wonderful holiday fragrances (at a great price) and am thoroughly enjoying them already!


I hope you don't mind but I just had to rant a little bit about the poor lost Thanksgiving holiday. Thank you :)

What A Blog, What A Blog

As I said before, I am new to the whole blogging thing...I mean very new; I have known what a blog is of course for quite some time but as far as reading (much less following) a blog or making and posting one myself I am very much still a baby. I know I have a lot to learn, but that's all part of life, try it on and see what fits. I have a lot I want to share, but I'm going to try to not be all over the place or bombard you with constant updates of what I ate that day and stuff I'm sure you really don't care about. 


Mostly I want to share the joys and sorrows of life as a 27(+) year old girl trying to make the best of everything I've been given, good and bad. I struggle with depression, addictions, and, as I like to call it, a "realistic" point of view. But I have a great, supportive family, some of the best friends a person could ask for, and overall I have had a very blessed life.


I also want to share my passions; photography, painting, jewelry making, movies/tv, video games, animals, Disney, Twilight, Monster High, and collecting.


I'm not out to change the world or make myself famous. I want to share life with anyone who wants to join in, and if something I say or do helps someone or even just makes someone smile, I'm happy.


With that being said, I do want to point out that I can be kinda rough around the edges and I say what I want regardless of "political correctness" or whether or not it may offend someone. I am not forcing anyone to read anything and am not going to tiptoe around in case something might offend someone. If I have something I want to say, I will say it and say it how I want to. However, I am not out to offend or hurt anyone intentionally.


I look forward to sharing with you and I hope you enjoy this creative, real, funny, and yes difficult thing that is my life! 

A Trick, A Treat, A Good Time To Meet (Ready or Not...Here I Go!)

As a new blogger (yes this is my very first blog post ever), I have to say I am very excited! I don’t know if you, or anyone, will find what I have to say interesting but I hope at least that a glimpse into my crazy/wonderful life will be entertaining.

I don’t know what to think about having my first post on Halloween…don’t get me wrong, I love Halloween; its my third favorite holiday, after Christmas and Thanksgiving. We didn’t celebrate Halloween when I was growing up, I never minded not going trick-or-treating but come on, I was a little girl who loved to dress up and the one night of the year that everyone else dressed up too I didn’t. Ah, but now I’m an adult and my own person so I can do whatever I want! What are my plans for tonight then you ask? Well I’ll tell you, I’m going home after work, I’m going to eat dinner, put on my pajamas and watched The Crow as I had out candy to the probably 3 kids we’ll have trick-or-treating. I know, sounds great doesn’t it! J I was going to go to Mickey’s Not-So-Scary Halloween Party at Disney’s Magic Kingdom with one of my friends but I’m still getting over a cold, and that’s a lot of money to spend if you can’t totally enjoy it. I am happy about my “new” plans for tonight though, I love to just curl up to a good movie and what better movie for Halloween than The Crow!

But here’s hoping for a Mickey-filled Halloween next year!